Finding a new way

My mind is totally confusing, pressure is hidden everywhere, life is killing me.... Sometimes, I failed to detect what am I doing at that time? Study STPM, maybe this is God arrangement(A quotation from my great teacher, CM Tan), or not I already finished up my UEC... everything happening without any sign.... Sometime, I recalled back, this is really scary!!! When I was in Senior middle two (Form 5), I already planned all the thing of the last year. But, surprisingly, the last day of form 5, my mind gone wrong unreasonably.... then I betrayed myself and a lot of teachers and friends.

Sigh, human being born to be pure. 人性本善(Confucius said) Environment plays a major role in construsting a human or any creature (sound similar to Darwin's Natural Adaptation)... That's why I am being constructed like that.

Everyday, think of STPM, think of club's funtions, think of her is a waste to my mind. I am finding a new way to meaningfullise my life. Embracing the the arising nationalism of Chinese is also not a good method, but this is a motivation, a power to make me exist to this world. When I wished to end my life, I will think that I haven't seen the coming age of Pax China, I haven't watched the reunification of Mainland and Taiwan, I haven't felt the glory of new oriental civilization, I haven't heard the apology from Japan!!! What for I decease now?!?!

Everyone have his or her living value, so am I. From now, I have a very clear mind, STPM is nothing more than 1 piece of toilet paper. I will become 大马十大杰青 within this 10 years or I specially named it last year "ADP3000 days"....(After Princess Departure)