忏悔灭五毒

在学佛营内的处罚是跪香，我跪了两次，自我处罚，自我忏悔。。。我的确干了不少的业障。。。
五毒：贪瞋痴慢疑
以往我无时无刻被这五毒缠身，但现在我已好好地反省忏悔~~~
贪~ 过去，我很贪图名利，爱出风头。
瞋~ 我是首号反日反美反台独分子，导致我心中对日本产生一种仇恨瞋恚心，罪过罪过~
痴~ 我曾经痴迷过一位女子。
慢~ 无可置疑，我是个傲慢心很重的人，民族优越感，独中我慢心很强。
疑~ 我以前对佛法抱着非常怀疑的态度。。。

忏悔后，心中有种不知名的清净感。。。。
阿弥陀佛。

I found the way~~~

with Ignorance as condition, Mental Formations arise
with Mental Formations as condition, Consciousness arises
with Consciousness as condition, Name & Form arises
with Name & Form as condition, Sense Gates arises
with Sense Gates as condition, Contact arises
with Contact as condition, Feeling arises
with Feeling as condition, Craving arises
with Craving as condition, Clinging arises
with Clinging as condition, Becoming arises
with Becoming as a condition, Birth arises
with Birth as condition, Aging & Death arises

In this long holidays, I joined a buddhist learning camp at a buddist centre, Guang Hui Yuan 广慧缘 at Ampang Tasek there, I spent 7 days 6 nights (4 Dec to 10 Dec) there.... Ahhhh.... this is really very unforgettable wonderful moment in my life... I would like to share my great experiences to you all. Eventually, I found it, I found the way of truth. Previously, my mind was very confuse and ignorant, people said Bible is for Christian, Al-Quran is for Muslims, how about buddhists? But, now I got it, that is "Sutra on the White Lotus of the Sublime Dharma or Lotus Sutra", in Chinese called 大乘妙法莲华经, it also titled as 'ultimate of all sutras', is one of important sutras 经典 in Mahayana Buddhism 大乘佛法.

What is buddhism? Lots of people have misconception on buddhism, including buddhist themselves. First I wanna clarify that buddhism is not a religion but an education. Unlike Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, buddhism isn't a kind of RELIGION but EDUCATION, a true way of universe and humanity. I really hoped that everyone can correct your misunderstanding toward buddhism. So, I admit that I have NO religion but a buddhist....

OK...okokok..... Lets come to our topic: Buddhist Camp!!!

First Day, 4 Dec 2005. (Nazi Detention Camp)
My four cousin sisters and brothers and I reached there at 8 morning, then I saw some of my classmates, there are H'ng Ee, Sia Wei, and most surprisingly is I saw Loke Xi-mun, and some cochraneans, I believe one of them is Mr Tan (Head of SMK cochrane PIBG) daughter, so fimiliar. I also met a guy that I saw him in Yakin Tuition Centre previous day, but that time I didn't know his identity only can feel he is not a simple guy, Yes, my prediction is right. He is Ang Kuan Ping 洪广彬, form SMK Chung Hwa form six finished STPM as me, this guy really really.... hard to use word to describe his brain capacity. He is damnned brilliant, and weird too. His knowledge is hundreds times greater than mine. Ok, talk about first day.....

Regret. Disappointed. Sad. Boring. These are my feelings on 1st day, I should not join this camp..... Sigh. Why? because this camp has no any outdoor activities!!! Oh my god~~~ and then we have to follow 8 restrictions like those buddhist monks.
There are:
1. 不杀生, no killing....
2. 不邪淫, no sexual thinking....
3. 不偷盗, no stealing.....
4. 不饮酒, no alcohol.....
5. 不妄语, no saying nonsense, this is too hard for me....
6. 不用香物洗澡, no using fragrant oil or shampoo to bath....
7. 过午不食, no eating after noon, arrrgghhh, very hungry during sleepingleh....
8. 床褥厚度不过2寸, no sleep on bed that height more than 2 inches....

Besides that, our handphones and watchs were confiscated, these whole week live without time......arrrggggg?!?!?! Our sleeping place is a big CAMP, we sleep on wooden floor, oh so unbearable. Since our camp is located at mountain area, so there are damned freezing, and almost raining everydayleh....破屋更遭连夜雨！！！

Two meals everyday, Same type of food everyday, sleep at eleven and wake up at five, use salt to brush teeth, use cold water to bath, recite sutras at morning and evening, and one day have to spend at least 8 hours to study Lotus Sutra..... and so on, the life is so tortured... Hmm, honestly these kind of feelings all gone in second day when I was searching the way of truth.

Sadly, a lot of members went home on 2nd day, they could not stand this kind of environment, more terrible than Alaska or Sahara. Ya, some of them are not, Xi-mun Mandarin level failed to make her survive so she choose to leave... aarrggghh, those people are so unlucky because they miss the golden chance to learn Lotus Sutra.

I became Boy Room leader, no choice since I am the eldest there, and Kuan Ping was my assistant. Boys have 25 (Last day only remained 21), all of us slept in a big camp and we also have to guard the night 守夜 on given time.... 1st day just like a disaster for me, sigh!!!!

2nd day to 3rd day.....
The condition is getting better, my body and mind seem able to adapt in this critical circumstances, unfortunately few of them fled away. Kuan Ping and I become a great partners, we discussing all the time no matter history, politic, science, philosophy etc etc.... undoubt he is a genius, and a bit of arrogant. He also admitted, he has a younger brother, called Kuan Chin. This kid also very intelligent and cute, haha, this boy helped me a lot when we are stucked in forest.... Outdoor activities......hmmmm..... only 1 day, got wushu teaching, since everyday raining...

4th day to 6th day.....
Certainly, I am one of those who like to ask questions during sutra lessons...... Hours and hours reading sutra, listening those lecturers giving their ideas.....
........
........
........


Last day.....
After days suffering, finally came to the last day----->
Survivor day..... All of us grouped into 5 teams, I am first team leader, Kuan Chin was in my group, today mission jungle trekking and mountain climbing. The location is Hulu Langat. Go by bus??? 你就想！！Walk to Hulu Langat from Ampang Tasek??? Yes! 有没有搞错！？！？！ Few kilometres walking along highway, not only me, but 60 something people, just like massive evacuation...Haha.... Eventually, we reached the jungle side..... we walk.... we walk along the river, thousands of stone are our obstacles, but we fear not of it!!! Spending almost 2 hours wandering in this tropical forest, finally reached our camping place.

First time making fire to cook....
First time drinking those river water, damn!!! God knows whether bacteria freely??
First time climbing mountain, sooo exhausted.....
First time seeing tiger footprint, so scary.....

After finishing lunch, is time to 下山！！！ But, not going together, but team by team, each team have to use their own method, use their way to return to our place. Shhttt.... Are you kidding?!?! This is so dangerous, we will be trapped in these gigantic forest....

As a leader, I am responsible to take my members out from this jungle safely, luckily Kuan Chin, he has lots of experince in jungle surviving. So we decided follow the river flowing.... 11 people, 3 boys 8 girls doing just like 'Survivor', searching their way out. Raining make the condition harder, the whole area suddenly becoming Amazon, I felt that menaces are everywhere.... we walk, we climb, we cross......
Blessingly, in the end, we still came out from the jungle.....

During in jungle, I suddenly found a thing, I don't know what is that, maybe this is the way of truth~~~~

An hour later, the camp finished.......

Arrggghhhh~~~~~~~ These 7 days are my great moment of my life, definitely..... I am waiting for next year~~~~

大韩织梦编

我在高一开始接触韩剧，那时我记得是《冬季恋歌》，便与大韩民族结下了不解之缘，然后到往后的《蓝色生死恋》，《红豆女之恋》，《爱上女主播》（《夏娃的诱惑》）一直到近日的《天国的阶梯》，《浪漫满屋》和现在的《爱在哈佛》。韩剧的出现多多少少使这个世界变得精彩丰富。当然，天下并没有十全十美的东西，韩剧也是如此吧~ 但比起中港台和日剧更略胜一筹。

首先，先说说《浪漫满屋》吧。。我觉得《浪漫满屋》充满幻想主义，空想主义。剧中女主角，忽然间能和大明星结婚，同居在宫殿似的豪宅，然后浪漫收场。很乌托邦，直截了当一点：不切实际！！ 这也反映了我们现代人现实生活上呆板无趣，情场上不满现状和惆怅的心态，和思想上对这类乌托邦式恋爱的憧憬吧！我并不是什么爱情专家，只是觉得这种成人童话故事能够在现今社会得到如此多的支持，也证明了资本主义制度下所带来枯燥生活以及读书考试工作结婚生子发富的不变模式。

嗯…… 《浪漫满屋》，顾名思义，一定很浪漫。但我觉得它的浪漫成份也不过是最后那几集罢了。再说，浪漫并不等于幸福，取名《幸福满屋》不是更好吗？FullHouse 幸福满屋，不是配搭上来得更好听吗？由此可见，现代人所热衷于追求浪漫，其次是幸福吧！哈哈……

浪漫是空幻短暂的，幸福是实际长久的。浪漫是刺激性的，而幸福是稳定性的。但，它们之间是相辅相成的，幸福为主，浪漫为辅。好了，好了，该回到主题吧！

最近播映的《爱在哈佛》果然厉害，一洗我对韩剧的固有偏见，也害得我着迷入魔，朝思暮想着这部戏。虽然才看了五集，但我的心早已在哈佛校园了。啊！太好看啦！！！当然，这有我的原因的：

首先，背景特别新颖，《爱在哈佛》这部剧设在世界第一的哈佛大学内，哗！一个梦也梦不到的地方呢！不像《浪漫满屋》随随便便搭建一间大屋来“浪漫”，《爱在哈佛》可是在世上最严肃壮观的“圣地”找浪漫咧！从中，我才知道哈佛的内在美，真的很美！！很像古欧洲的宫殿般的豪华。看这部戏，激发了我的决心和斗志。不入虎穴，焉得虎子呢，想了解天下第一学府，就不要错过啦！

它的背景音乐很有味道，怎么说呢？难以解释，需要去亲身体验才可以。《爱在哈佛》在哈佛，所以人人都说英语，不清楚的人还以为是外国片呢！

男主角，（金来沅），很深入我心，尤其是他那热诚的祖国心民族魂。“为了捍卫我祖国……”“我心中挂着一幅大韩民国的国旗……”很像我。哈哈！！开玩笑，但我以他为模范。由于男主角是念法律学的，所以在这戏也可以学到一些美国法学的常识。

女主角，（金泰熙），没错！！她是我追看这部戏的主要动力。她，可以用“沉鱼落雁，闭月羞花”来形容她那天仙般的容貌。她，美丽中带有七分可爱，可爱中带有七分美丽。与她在《天国的阶梯》有过“一面之缘”，她演的反派也反得可爱。当然，里头还有一个重要的主观因素，嗯……*秘密*

韩剧，大多数都离不开“四角恋爱+世仇情敌+生离死别”的框架，这部戏也是如此。这部戏开启我对大学校园生活的期待，所以我要努力求学考入大学。（哈佛是无望的啦）

这是我今年封笔之作，还有几天就是预考了，所以要加油！！再见！！

-----UNIVERSITY 由你玩四年-----

以下是南洋娱乐今日刊登的剧情简述：（不想太快知道结果，不要看噢！）

爱在哈佛 到世界最高学府谈清说爱 2005/08/27

八度空间最近播出的《爱在哈佛》，剧中女主角金泰熙一洗在《天国的阶梯》的恶形恶相，饰演一个性格坚强、富正义感，但却身罹绝症的哈佛大学医科生，还与男主角金来沅发展出一段浪漫而凄美的“生死恋”。《爱在哈佛》除可说是金泰熙转型之作外，剧组远赴美国哈佛大学实景拍摄，更是此剧最大卖点。


《爱在哈佛》虽没有惯常的身世秘密、血缘关系，但也不离女主角患癌、家族恩怨、三角、四角关系的俗套模式，不过却比以往的韩剧来得清新，因为此剧冲出韩国以外国家拍摄。虽然以国外作背景不足为奇，如《巴黎恋人》就是以巴黎为背景，但《爱在哈佛》却以世界最高学府哈佛实景拍摄，令普罗观众有眼界大开之感。唯一可惜之处是：本来剧组预算是全剧皆在美国拍摄，碍于制作费问题（全剧制作费逾1千500万令吉），逼得改为一半在美国；一半就得回归韩国拍摄。姑勿论如何，能以哈佛大学作为剧集中心，也是一大突破，起码中港台电视剧从未有过。

《爱在哈佛》故事并不复杂。金来沅饰演的金贤宇和李廷镇的洪政民都是哈佛法律系高材生，但政民父亲在一次商业诉讼中败在贤宇的律师父亲手中，因此而自杀；政民已将贤宇视为仇人，谁知两人又同时爱上金泰熙饰演的医科生李书仁，令两人恩怨加深。贤宇和政民毕业后相继回国，两人在一单官司上斗个你死我活之际，书仁却证实患上淋巴癌。贤宇不顾一切要与书仁结婚，但书仁的性命却与这单官司有不可分割的关系，逼令贤宇要作出抉择。

主角非等闲之辈

25岁的金泰熙这回在《爱在哈佛》担正演出女主角，她出道3年多，发展一直平平，但自演出《天国的阶梯》的“友莉”后，其恶女形象深入民心，令她在香港以至台湾人气，都比第一女主角的崔智友更响、更受欢迎。

与此同时，由于李英爱玩低调，加上宋慧乔、崔智友等阿姐广告酬劳有偏高之嫌，金泰熙乘时插队，令一众广告商转移目标。现时广告价虽升至约80万令吉，但仍有十多个广告约在手。前阵子有说她为了赶拍广告，连本来与Rain合作拍摄的新剧《毒爱》也推掉。看来下半年度，单是拍广告已令她应接不暇，但为向香港观众推销自己“改邪归正”之作，还特别抽空于上个月赴香港和台湾跟观众见面呢！

除女主角金泰熙为韩剧迷熟悉外，男主角金来沅也非等闲之辈。24岁的他出道2年，凭《屋塔房的小猫》成名，其后与文根英主演电影《吾妻16岁》令他人气更上一层楼，2004年更在电影大钟赏中打败大哥大裴勇俊夺得“电影最佳新人奖”。金来沅最近在新片《苏格拉底先生》中一改乖乖仔形象，饰演一个黑帮分子。

论可观性，《爱在哈佛》算是正面，再者，打破主角逢绝症必死传统，来个大团圆结局。唯一是片中3个主角的蹩脚英语令人发笑，连韩国观众也觉得他们说英语像小孩念“英文”，成为《爱在哈佛》一小瑕疵。

Hee.... is a Pretty Gal!!!!

Hee...
Hee...
Kim Tae Hee...
金泰熙。。。

Beauty of Oriental

Okok, guys. Lets us continue our topic: The great difference between English and Chinese. As I mentioned in last post, English is infinite! Because a lot of words are only belonging to professional, no matter is Literature and Science. For examples, a student who researched English poem and literature will never able to read "The Origin of Life (C. Darwin)" or "The Theory of Relativity", same as us (maybe me only) also cannot read a Shakespeare's poem or even Lord of the Rings. That's why living in English world is so.... so... so helpless when no dictionary around you.

English is first dimensional(1D), is a line-form language, unlike Chinese! English also is a bunch of codes. Writing English is Coding, Reading English is Code-breaking!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, just imagine, if you change 'a,b,c,d,e' into '1,2,3,4,5', theoretically, english is just a group of CODES!!! For examples, cab can be written as 312, bad is 214 and so on. If using some pronounciation, there is nothing different between them!!!

Chinese is totally different with English. Chinese is second dimensional(2D), fully using the geometrical space of paper. EVERY CHINESE CHARACTER IS A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE!! That is so great what our ancestors have invented!! Ask you simple question, if get an information from a picture and code, which method is faster?? Hahahaha.... Chinese National Standard of anti-illiterate is knowing 1500 chinese characters, a requirement of university entry for normal science courses is just 2000 to 3000 characters, with this 3000 characters, everyone can study, read newspaper, do research easily and effectively. I think that I can manage more than 10000 characters...

But, but, in english world, if you don't know more than 20000 words, you will never read a STAR newspaper. If you english database is less than 30000 word, please forget about TIME. A normal graduate known at least 80000 words. Since the millions of new technology, new inventions appear in this era, our english dictionary is getting thicker and thicker......

Foreigner view to the East

老外眼中的《西游记》 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------瑞典一所乡村中学，一个老师正在上外国文学，有个学生请老师介绍一下中国的《西游记》，老师是这样向学生解释的：故事说的是一个中国的和尚去西方旅游的经历。这种旅游的性质实质是一种探险。他骑着一匹白色的马，带着一位名叫沙僧的仆人。为了打发旅途的寂寞，他还带了一只宠物猴和一头宠物猪上路。

一路上，这个和尚路过许多高山，渡过一些大河大川，受到许多惊吓。他走过名叫 火焰山的火山口，艳遇过一个只有女孩的女儿国。据说他带的猴子本领很大，一路上替他扫除许多障碍，其实不过是一只蝎子、两只蜈蚣、五只黄鼠狼、七只蜘蛛等而已，大的动物有一头牛、两只狮子和三匹狼。猴子还有一些让人不解的行为，比如一发火就烧，一路上烧了几个山洞、一棵柳树，还有几个漂亮的宫殿，还围着一堆白骨狠打许多遍才罢手。

和尚带的宠物猪看起来没什么作用，只是充当旅途的解闷工具罢了。据说它一口气吃了四只西瓜，把和尚、佣人、猴子的一份都吃了，还说它调戏了七只蜘蛛，被蜘蛛们狠咬了一口。
　
那个仆人也什么用也没有，整天担着一副破行李，听任摆布。

和尚花了13年才到了印度，寻了一些印度佛经，像得了宝贝一样回国了。 　

学生们听罢非常惊讶：一是想不到中国人这么热衷冒险；二是想不到一千年前中国人就喜欢宠物猪了。

Coding Civilization

I saw this article in a forum, I found that this is great and meaningful. Although the essay below has a little bit of language nationalism, I think this is reasonable and logical. Before I write, I wanna tell you all that I am not offend anyone, any country, or any civilization.

Ok, I still remembered, about 1960s to 1970s, a lot of professional pointed that Romanization is only surviving way of the Chinese Language, just like romanized Vietnamese. The main reason is the romanized script(e.g.english) can used in typing machine. Haha, now I recalled it, I think that's funny. Since the advancement of computer technology, Chinese character typing speed already faster than english, and in following years, the technique will be more convenient, more advanced, But English, I think still in stationary condition.

In the field of modern science, China has a lot of good reseachers and scientists, I didn't hear before anyone cannot do science reseach because of his or her chinese not so 'deep' or not so 'advance and accurate'. Without knowing english, Chinese still can sent people to outer space in accurate route, Chinese still can test a Nuclear weapon without any mistake. Every english material is able to be translated into Chinese. Besides that, Chinese global influence is getting stronger due to the arising of China national power.

English language has loads of disabities. In previous years, a lot of people (including those 'Banana-Chinese', yellow skin white soul) looked down ideogram-formed Chinese, insulting the language is ancient and outdated, just like those Egyptian hieroglyphics that extinct thousands years ago. But, in my point of view, english is 'ancient', no contributed to human neuron development, very troublesome and confusing or even worse than the old Egyptian script.

Our universe is infinite, is endless, so is the English language. English is so "powerful", so arrogant, tried to name all things, all creatures of the entire universe until, sadly, those extreme terrible words appear in dictionary, i.e. Floccinaucinihilipilification (把某事的价值加以抹杀的行为或习惯), Antidisestablishmentarianism (反对教会与国家分开学说), and Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (吸入硅酸盐细末或石英岩灰而形成的肺尘埃沉着病). The most most most looooongest words I ever seen is this: (For those medicine student, you are so unfortune)That is:

methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleuc-yllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolyphenylalanylval-ythreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysyl-isoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylasparthlalanylleuc-ylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspa-rtylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylaspfraginylalanylthreonylleucylarfinylala-nylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalythreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylal-anylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleuoylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysyhistidylprolylt-hreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylva-lylphenylalanylasparaginyllysyglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanylthrosylalan-ylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalnyl-aspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutam-inylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyvalylalanylprolylisoleucylprolylisole-ucylphenylalanylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylasp-artylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycyla-rginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylg-lycylalanylglutamylasparainylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhistidy-lleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolyl-leucylglutaminylglgycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminy-lvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucy-lserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoieucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistid-ylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucylly-sylvalylphenylalanylcalylglutaminylprolylmethionlysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylseri-ne (1913 alphabets, 色氨酸合成酶a蛋白质（一种含有267种氨基酸酶）), That.....that's all the "word"....OH MY ALMIGHTY GOD!!! Okok gentlemen, take a deep deep brealth!! Haha, Those "Breathtaking" great words, you will never know the meaning, even you will not pronounce it nicely.

OkOk, too terrible, too scary, really cannot stand, so I will continue in following post. Good night!!

Calm

Finally finally, I can smell the fresh air. This is air of freedom after 5 days 'enemy' haze isolation strategy. Ahhh... Because of this stupid haze, made me cannot concentrate on my study (Lame Excuse), eventually I can start my revising...

So romantic~~~
The sky is Blue again~~~

Look, above these news pictures have similarity! That's Haze Emergency. I found it in my storeroom, a memorable newspaper cutting when I was standard 5. This picture recorded that 19 September 1997, entire Sarawak went into Emergency condition as it API reached 835!!!! Is 835!!! Man, so terrible. Beside it is yesterday, Kuala Selangor(518) and Port Klang(525), both area are enforced by emergency order...

History always tell us that history is repeating time over time, and what human learned from history is: HUMAN LEARN NOTHING IN HISTORY. Sigh~~~

Hhhhh......H for???

H for what? When we were children, our teacher tought us H for house, H for horse... But, I will teach my younglings H for HAZE!!!!! Haze again!!! Since when, Mr. haze already became a part of our normal life. Everyear, I dare say that, everyear, our country is encountering the haze trouble. I wanna ask Our elected dear leaders, our chosen government, What are they doing right now?!?! Probably hide in somewhere to escape himself or herself from this man-made contamination.

Indons are bullshits!!! This is really unfortunate to have a neighbour like this. Burning something beside your house, and you just keep quiet until absorb too much those harmful gas and get lung cancer... Why our government didn't make any complaint to those hillpigs-Indons? Because of "Asean Spirit"? Indeed, Malaysian leaders are afraid of Jakarta, this is undeniable fact, I still remember last time, lots of activists protested in front of Malaysia Embassy, and they shouted, screamed, "Serang Malaysia." And our leaders just asked public and media to calm down and remain silent. Sigh.... I don't wanna say too many, in short, Indons is a cause of our country instability...
These are works of brainless Indons!!!!

Dude, Do you know the reason of dinosour extinction? If you wanna know, please go out and stay there for 10 minutes, you will know!!! We are following the step of T-REX!!!


Another H.... is Allusjd Goed!!! Holland, the Netherlands. My Dutch auntie, uncle, my pretty cousin sister and cute cousin brother with their Mat Salih friends came to Malaysia last week. Ahh.... 4 years already didn't see them, time going so fast. Haha, a Dutch whiteman told me that Malaysia is the safest place in the world. Then, I gave him a 'unbelievable' look.... haha~~~ now I think he realized that his lungs no longer safe anymore in this land. Once my health getting better, I will stay there for couple of months. Ya, now I have to work hard hard to achieve my 'island'...

Today is 7th day of 7th lunar month, or Qixi. This day is Chinese Valentine Day, so I wished the lover of this world happy forever...

Island

Everyone has his or her own island, so am I. But, I think my island is rather simple than other. But for me, it is a great dream for me, the thing I dream for decades. A lot of 'normalized' people seem first pail of golds, a PhD, a Dato, a pretty wife or a Benz as their island.

For me, those are nothing worth than rubbish although billions of human are trying to land this so-called 'The wonderful island'. Last Saturday, some of my friends and I went to watch a great, meaningful and marvellous movie that I ever watch in my 20-years life, "The Island". I love this show very very much, it has loads of philosophy of living, meaning of surviving and those have implanted in my mind. Everyone has his or her island, everyone fight for their island. But, what are they going to do when they realise their island actually just a wasteland which covered by thistles and thorns.

My island is simple, but hard, very hard to achieve. A normal and HEALTHY body. Haha, maybe you will said that we are already healthy, high achievement of medicine technology, no war, no plague, what are we worrying of?? Ya, you are right. But, for me, I never think like that. A lot of people might say I am joking when I saying my legs pain or my kidney is not well, and their way of saying are arrogant and make me uneasy. When I was small, I already disliked 'Doctor' this term, because for me they are a capitalism-creature which only want to clear his stock and enlarge his capital storage, so simply ask for operation, force you to swollen all of useless pill eventhough sometime you are healthier than he! I am bored when I saw a doctor.

Some of my close friends known I cannot let a freezing substance touch my mouth or my throat, because it will lead a cascade effect of devastation in my respiration organs. That's why, I have never drink any cold water for 8 years!!! (Ya, sometime I will do it secretly to fulfill my jealosy, now i really stopped until~~~ unknown) My lungs have a critical problem (Doc: Imcomplete Development) since I was 12 make me cough and flu all the day all the time and asthma. Then, I learned swimming, thanks god, the condition was being better and have not been cured entirely.

That time, western technique was useless to save me, so I was brought to some Chinese herbalist. They said that my stomach is my main source of my sickness, and affected my lungs working and also said my body are hurt internally and that also my main reason of my skinny and bony body (My self-esteem was extremely low because of my skeleton-like muscleless body, I was shame and sometimes I was wearing shirt when I swimming although my swimming skill is well). And, they advised me to less eating meat. Numerous of remedies were 'experimented' in my body, like a guinea pig. My body sometimes better sometimes worse, the root of my illness have not been destroyed. Last year, doctor warmed me that my liver and kidney are relatively 'weak' and ask me not to drink Coke and other gaseous liquid until the condition is clear. Besides my internal organ, my eyes and legs have some problem, but my lung, my kidney, my stomach and my liver are my priority in battling my sicknesses.
Sigh.... I am talking too much rubbish. Haha, dun be so worry, dude, at least I am surviving.

The glory record I achieved in fighting my illness is I have No flu anymore. Flu-free!!!! Haha, fighted for 8 years, finally gained the victory. I believed that I will defeat all my enemy in the near future and make a beautiful landing to my island. May the force be with me. My another island... Emmm.... I will try my best to persevere my health for the sake of my another island, another dream of my life....my dear...

If you gave me no A or all fail in STPM and a healthy body, I will agreed without any thinking, because HEALTH IS WEALTH!!!